I am a Father, having 50 days old son. He can hardly balance his head now. It just gives me immense joy when I am holding him in my arms, that "FEELING "...OMG... cannot be valued even by the best of those jewellers.
When I look at my father, I feel like asking him, "how did he feel, when he held me in his arms ? ". I know .. he will just smile and look away, he is gentle and soft spoken, and I am sure he won't be able to explain rather it is unexplainable by any father.
As a parent, whole lot of thoughts and plans we go through( future plans) ...It starts with which name? and then Which nursery? Which school?
Which college & career? etc etc etc.
And then we start teaching a child different values, respecting elders and many more such things... Life is good till now...Right?? Problem starts when as a parent, we figure out that our child is not following any of the things which we taught rather child is doing extremely opposite..Life is not that good now.
Which college & career? etc etc etc.
And then we start teaching a child different values, respecting elders and many more such things... Life is good till now...Right?? Problem starts when as a parent, we figure out that our child is not following any of the things which we taught rather child is doing extremely opposite..Life is not that good now.
Then the next plan starts, if the kid is very small, we would spank or we would try to make heavy voice with wide eyes..like a flopped dubbing artist so that kid understands he is wrong. If the kid is in Teen age, there will be lots of heated arguments and no talking sessions etc..and when the child is an adult ,it's better to speak to them with respect or it will be given back.
I am a teacher by profession, many parents come to me complaining about their child's studies but they end up in complaining about their behaviour. It's been 8 years I am in teaching, I have heard so many complaints of parents for their kids and their blame games, I never understood the actual problem, they just dump their worries and go, expecting as a teacher, I would do something, that's what many of our parents did when we were in school, it's sad on teachers part. I am sure even our teachers never understood the actual problem, in fact they had to say something , so in return they would give some weird solution,
" 2 - 3 din Khana mat do, sab thikk hojayga ", as if doctor advising a patient suffering from constipation.
" Mobile lelo uska "...
" pocket money band kardo "...
all kinds of advice, and I never seen their advice helping in any way.
By god's grace, I never felt like giving such advice to my students' parents.
By god's grace, I never felt like giving such advice to my students' parents.
But, now when I see my son, he is infant, but in future, I know, even I will have many good things, good advice for him & good expectations from him, as all the fathers do. But, when I see and ask myself,
"if I , myself doing all those good things ?"
"if I am living up to those good expectations?"
then I find myself falling short in many things. Then what to do?? , It's very simple, start practicing from now on, first of all, I have to live an exemplary life to advise my child.
As Fathers, we all have a primary social responsibility is to give a better citizen to our society, ofcourse career is important for the kid, but it's secondary.
If I want my son to respect elders, first he need to see me, respecting my parents and in law-parents.
If I want to see my son respecting women,first he need to see me, respecting my wife and my mother.
If I want to see him helping at home chores, he need to see me, giving a helping hand at home.
If I don't want him to yell at people, then first I shouldn't be yelling on people at home.
If I want him to say sorry, then first he need to see me, saying sorry to people at home.
If I want to see him follow traffic rules, first he need to see me following them...this list can go on with respect to each and everything and I know it's not easy , it requires conscious efforts by us and it's worth giving efforts in the right direction.
If I want to see my son respecting women,first he need to see me, respecting my wife and my mother.
If I want to see him helping at home chores, he need to see me, giving a helping hand at home.
If I don't want him to yell at people, then first I shouldn't be yelling on people at home.
If I want him to say sorry, then first he need to see me, saying sorry to people at home.
If I want to see him follow traffic rules, first he need to see me following them...this list can go on with respect to each and everything and I know it's not easy , it requires conscious efforts by us and it's worth giving efforts in the right direction.
Basically, everything starts from home, from us( as a parents) , kids are just the replica of what we are. We, complaining about them is actually saying, " see, what I did ".
We all have flaws, we need to accept & rectify or get ready to see them in kids. Let's try to pass on a better character to our kids, which is imperishable , everlasting in true sense as a heritage than the money. As parents, we would always want to pass on the best things to our kids, don't we?.
I am trying hard, I believe you are in the same boat too. All the best.
-A Passionate Father
