BEING FATHER !! More than a relation...

    I am a Father, having 50 days old son. He can hardly balance his head now. It just gives me immense joy when I am holding him in my arms, that "FEELING "...OMG... cannot be valued even by the best of those jewellers.

    When I look at my father, I feel like  asking him, "how did he feel, when he held me in his arms ? ". I know .. he will just smile and look away, he is gentle and soft spoken, and I am sure he won't be able to explain rather it is unexplainable by any father.

    As a parent, whole lot of thoughts and plans we go through( future plans) ...It starts with which name? and then Which nursery? Which school?
Which college & career?  etc etc etc.
And then we start teaching a child different values, respecting elders and many more such things... Life is good till now...Right??  Problem starts when as a parent, we figure out that our child is not following any of the things which we taught rather child is doing extremely opposite..Life is not that good now.

     Then the next plan starts, if the kid is very small, we would spank or we would try to make heavy voice with wide eyes..like a flopped dubbing artist so that kid understands he is wrong. If the kid is in Teen age, there will be lots of heated arguments and no talking sessions etc..and when the child is an adult ,it's better to speak to them with respect or it will be given back. 

    I am a teacher by profession, many parents come to me complaining about their child's studies but they end up in complaining about their behaviour. It's been 8 years I am in teaching, I have heard so many complaints of parents for their kids and their blame games, I never understood the actual problem, they just dump their worries and go, expecting as a teacher, I would do something, that's what many of our parents did when we were in school, it's sad on teachers part. I am sure even our teachers never understood the actual problem, in fact they had to say something , so in return they would give some weird solution,

   " 2 - 3 din Khana mat do, sab thikk hojayga ", as if doctor advising a patient suffering from constipation.

   " Mobile lelo uska "...

" pocket money band kardo "...

all kinds of advice, and I never seen their advice helping in any way.
By god's grace, I never felt like giving such advice to my students' parents.

     But, now when I see my son, he is infant, but in future, I  know, even I will have many good things, good advice for him & good expectations from him, as all the fathers do. But, when I see and ask myself,

"if I , myself doing all those good things ?"

"if I am living up to those good expectations?"

then I find myself falling short in many things. Then what to do?? , It's very simple, start practicing from now on, first of all, I have to live an exemplary life to advise my child.

   As Fathers, we all have a primary social responsibility is to give a better citizen to our society, ofcourse career is important for the kid, but it's secondary.

    If I want my son to respect elders, first  he need to see me, respecting my parents and in law-parents.
    If I want to see my son respecting women,first  he need to see me, respecting my wife and my mother.
    If I want to see him helping at home chores, he need to see me, giving a helping hand at home.
    If I don't want him to yell at people, then first I shouldn't be yelling on people at home.
    If I want him to say sorry, then first he need to see me, saying sorry to people at home.
    If I want to see him follow traffic rules, first he need to see me following them...this list can go on with respect to each and everything and I know it's not easy , it requires conscious efforts by us and it's worth giving efforts in the right direction. 

    Basically, everything starts from home, from us( as a parents) , kids are just the replica of what we are. We, complaining about them is actually saying, " see, what I did ".

   We all have flaws, we need to accept & rectify or get ready to see them in kids. Let's try to pass on a better character to our kids,  which is imperishable , everlasting in true sense as a heritage than the money. As parents, we would always want to pass on the best things to our kids, don't we?.

    I am trying hard, I believe you are in the same boat too. All the best.

                                        -A Passionate Father

MOMENTS OF PAIN & JOY !!

        It's 15th May 2018, 1:40pm , they are taking Shweta ( my sweetheart) to operation theatre for the delivery ( C-section).

        I can see her very nervous,  scared, taking very small steps towards operation theatre.. I can only pray for her, which I was doing continuously.

      Raj(my best friend) was sitting with me, it's always good to have ur best people around you, in good and bad times. He was excited since the last night.. and me, my palm was never so wet before, was continuously wiping it.. I was confident of the "LITTLE CHAMP" but as much worried of my sweetheart , I never saw her so nervous..I could easily make out of her eyes..
      For the first time I was feeling so helpless for her, if it was possible I was ready to take the pain, she was about to experience...I never prayed so hard anytime (atleast in my memory)..by now, my mind was in automated praying mode..
      Now, Raj was already up from his seat..I could see he was tapping his foot on the floor in rhythm and slow taps now turned to random kicks in the air as time was passing..
   And I was fully focused...my eyes couldn't miss even slight hint of movement in the doors(of OT).. meanwhile my mom and roshni(Raj's wife) were waiting in the ward.. I was so focused I didn't even change my pose since Shweta went in, I was trying to handle my emotions continuously, my mind was rushing through ocean of thoughts & running faster than light now...
    Meanwhile, the hospital staff was betting over baby - " boy or girl "...
they asked me, for my desire.

" boy or girl, doesn't matter, anything is fine", I said.

My concern was something else.

   I realised one thing here was.. people will always draw their share of moments from every event.
   Given an incident, it may be difficult & tensed situation for some but exciting for the remaining. This is how it is.. can't help it.
    Now, I can hear a faint cry of a baby, Raj heard it as well,

" awaaz suna?" 

"bahar se aaraha hai shayad"

I denied..don't know why, I didn't want to get excited before time. After few seconds the cry was louder. Now, Raj again

" Awaaz suna"

I just nodded.
     Nurses came out and started chatting among themselves, Raj overheard their chat and gave me a hint.. " ho Gaya hai ", they were busy in discussing who won the bet it seems.
    After waiting 5 long minutes paediatrician came out, he shook my hand and with very straight face he said,

"congratulations, it's a boy"

with even more blank face I said,

"thank you".

    I was not knowing how to respond to his wishes. I was very happy with the news, generally people go crazy with such news as I saw in movies, they go on hugging everyone around. I didn't do that. I was more stable, expecting some news of Shweta.
He talked nothing about her..
    Then the second doctor came with the news that baby is 4.5 kg.. I was like "woww!!"...we were just discussing about the weight , third doctor came  Dr. Minu pandey Shah( shweta's gynaec) with the baby in her hands.
   OMG!!  he was full white like an angel.. I didn't want to touch and make him dirty... He is very cute, very soft..I can't express how I was feeling...some feelings are beyond the words, in my view there shouldn't be any words to define such feelings..they should be left as they are.. beyond the language...
    He held roshni's finger very tight, he is strong as well..
    They took Him back, and after sometime they brought Shweta back to the ward.
    Now, she was looking very..very..weak, shivering, never seen her like that before.   Looking at her, my tears rolled down, I couldn't take that sight...I  was confirming several times from my mother, if Shweta gonna be fine..I was holding her hand in mine and was trying to smile with wet eyes... It was so painful to see her that way... We were trying to put the fans off as she was shivering..but she said,

" rehne do, Bache ko garam Hoga", looking at the baby in the arms of Raj.

It reminded me... she is mother now... I sighed a relief, it gave me confidence that she is gonna be alright soon.
  I saw my mother, now she was worried about me...
  Mothers are awesome..
  Finally Shweta was better, things were getting stable .
   Now, finally I could hold my son wholeheartedly. Woww!! is there anything better than this??
Ofcourse not...